


Insatiable

by throughtimeandstarlight (Scullystar)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Early Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, very light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scullystar/pseuds/throughtimeandstarlight
Summary: Early into their relationship, Scully needs to set something straight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in my drafts for a long time, unsure if I wanted to finish it. Thanks to a gentle and needed push, I took some time and wrote the last couple of paragraphs this week.

_"Scully, I feel like you might only want me for the sex."_

Mulder had said it jokingly to me the other night in my bed, his hand resting on my hip, my fingers entwined with his. I know he was making a joke but his comment sliced through me like the sharp edge of a knife does to a ripe fruit, and the cut still stings.

I certainly don't mean to make him feel this way but we only have these moments every so often. On rare nights when we're not on the road for a case or being pulled this way and that by other personal or professional responsibilities, one of us will make the decision to show up at the other's apartment and spend the night. He's more often shown up at my place with a bag of take-out from my favorite Chinese restaurant, but I have headed his way on occasion. The drive there is always in silence punctured only by the usual city music - cars passing by, the whoop of a police siren, the blare of a car horn in the distance. My skin is always tingling, the anticipation of seeing him in this way still fresh and invigorating the way the smell of rain on a precious summer evening makes you feel.

Our first time was as intense as you might imagine it being. Sex with someone you've wanted for such a long time often makes you wild and insatiable, though it hardly surprised either one of us that it was happening. There had always been a fluid push and pull between us, moving us back and forth like the tide. Unseen currents gently guided us to that moment, Mulder standing in front of me, both of us worn and weary, our nerves raw and our emotions bared. I looked up at him as we stood close in the clean bedroom of his otherwise dusty apartment and he reached for me. I felt my resolve crack and splinter like glass. We moved together like we had countless times before but this time I didn't turn my head to the side to rest on his chest, instead drawing his mouth to mine with a hand wrapped around the back of his neck. It was our undoing, that kiss. We spent the night naked in his bed and never looked back.

I can still count on two hands the number of times we've actually stayed the night together. The fact that we only get to have these moments every so often...it makes sense to me that we always end up in bed. There's nothing wrong with the world when we're tangled under the sheets. It's just the nature of our relationship at the moment.

I wish I had said something to him that night but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't prepared to list off the reasons this new arrangement was so much more than just sex to me. I thought he knew. It's difficult to imagine that my partner was feeling objectified given the look in his eyes when we'd retreat to the bedroom or the enthusiasm he showed me once we got there. In my own subtle ways I've tried to show him that his presence in my bed means just as much to me as his presence in the rest of my life. The fact that we decided to include a physical aspect to our already deep and complicated relationship makes it that much more amazing. I've always felt that what we have is untouchable, even before we started doing the naked pretzel. Our partnership may have gone through some rough patches in the past but our devotion and our trust in each other has always pulled us through and made us better than we were before. Other agents could only hope to have the kind of partnership we have. I want nothing more than for that to be true about our personal relationship as well.

So far the handful times we've had the good fortune of finding ourselves able to initiate one of our "visits" neither one of us have felt the need to get _really_ down and dirty and talk about our feelings. Or maybe we have. Don't get me wrong, I've felt the overwhelming urge to tell Mulder how I feel about him more than a few times during our love-making or in the dark as we drift off to sleep curled around each other. The timing just never seems right. He might be holding back as well, I don't know. We've never really been good at that sort of thing.

It's surprising how much this is eating away at me because it is so much more than a physical thing. I know that I have to do something to make this as clear to him as possible. Sometimes my partner, intelligent as he is, can be really dense.

 

 

The drive to Mulder's place was a sepia blur. Nothing really registered as I turned my car down the roads that would get me to his apartment in Alexandria, but at this point I think I could navigate those streets with my eyes closed. I pulled into the first spot I found and jogged across the street and up the stairs of the faded brick building. The elevator crept up to the fourth floor like it could feel the urgency vibrating in my bones and was deliberately trying to keep me from reaching my destination. I knew Mulder was probably napping on his couch after the day we had. Meetings with the assistant director, stacks of particularly involved and boring paperwork, and both of us with appointments after the workday was over - yes, he was probably sprawled out in sweats and a tee shirt. How I envied him.

My key scraped in the lock, my hands as unsteady as my shoulders were tense. As I entered the warm dark apartment the smell of pizza and soap filled my nostrils and helped me construct the events of Mulder's evening. The TV was on but the volume was turned down low. I stopped to watch the old black and white movie cast a mixture of light and shadow across the narrow living room and over my tall man stretched out on the well-worn leather couch. I smiled and mentally chided myself for such an overly sentimental thought.

I slid my jacket from my shoulders and flopped it across an armchair, slipped my feet from their leather confines and padded over to the couch. Kneeling down, I ran a hand across Mulder's chest, the cotton under my fingers soft and warm. He stirred and opened his eyes, then smiled at me and reached up to cup my face. The knot in my chest grew tight as I once again realized just how much I was in love with him.

"I didn't think you were visiting tonight, Scully." His voice was thick with sleep and his eyelids heavy. I almost felt bad for waking him. "Is everything OK?"

I couldn't help leaning in to kiss him firmly. "Of course. I just - needed to see you. I'm sorry I didn't call," I apologized.

"We never do," he said with a chuckle. He sat up and and scooted over so I could sit next to him. He smelled clean like soap and sandalwood, and I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. We sat quietly for a few long minutes and it was good just to be near him. "What's going on, Scully. You know I'd never complain about you coming over but why this urge to see me?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I need to clear something up."

Mulder's eyebrows raised as he turned a little bit to see me better. "Did we have an argument I wasn't aware of? Because anything I may have said can't be held against me if I don't remember saying it."

I grinned and shook my head. "No. But the other night when you were over? You said something and it's been bothering me ever since."

Mulder shifted so we were facing each other now, his arm no longer draped comfortably across my shoulders. "You know the last thing I would ever want to do is make you uncomfortable," he said. I nodded and sighed. "It isn't anything you did, Mulder. It's something that I've been doing even if it was unintentional. When you said it I knew you were joking but...it really stuck with me. I don't want you to feel like I am anything short of rhapsodic about the current state of our relationship."

"Rhapsodic? Scully, you flatterer, you."

"Mul-der..."

He put his hands up. "Sorry, sorry. Whatever this is about, it's obviously important to you. No more jokes about your extensive and eloquent vocabulary." Mulder got very serious, preparing for the worst.

I curled my legs up under me and my partner rested a big hand on my knee. I was instantly braver than I had been before and I exhaled all of my worry through pursed lips. "The other night you said you thought I only wanted you over for sex," I said keeping my eyes focused on the hand on my knee. "I wanted to make sure you knew how untrue that is." My eyes flicked back up to his face to see his reaction.

Mulder smiled at me, relief washing over his sleepy face. "Scully, I know that. I was just joking around. Damn. Here I was thinking you wanted to call this whole thing off." He blew out the breath he had been holding in. I laughed and took his hand. "That's the very last thing I want to do. It's just that we get so little time together outside of work - I can't help wanting to take you to bed whenever you come over."

"I'm never going to complain about that, G-woman," he grinned. Mulder's hand came up to touch my face. "Though sometimes I look over and you're staring at me the way Hannibal Lecter might look at Clarice Starling."

I laughed with a mixture of joy and embarrassment and buried my face in his chest. "I love you..." My chest tightened as I heard the words fall from my lips but there was no going back now. He put both arms around me and crushed me to his chest. "I know," he whispered as he pressed his lips to the top of my head, "I know."

Again I laughed with my face still pressed against him and sniffled as I resisted the urge to cry. Mulder took my face in his hands and kissed me. He got up and turned off the television, leaving the fish tank as the only light source. "So, Scully...stay tonight?"

I nodded and allowed him to lead me to his bedroom. I undressed down to my tee shirt and underwear and slid into bed, watching my partner as he shed his clothing. I was still getting used to the fact that I was now allowed to see him in various states of undress without it being due to a medical emergency. He moved over me and kissed my mouth fiercely, sliding a hand up under my shirt and over my ribs to knead my right breast. I heard a low humming coming from the back of my throat and pressed up against him. My partner pulled my shirt off over my head rather unceremoniously and gave me a wicked grin. I laughed as his lips found my sensitive neck and he kissed and nipped my flesh. He would be leaving marks, I already knew. My hands, refusing to remain idle, slid down his back, my nails tracing patterns across his warm skin. I reached down under his boxers to grab onto his backside. "Mmm" I heard against my neck. I squeezed again and pulled his hips roughly into mine, his growing erection grinding into my thigh. His hand found my right breast again.

"I want to take you out, Scully," Mulder suddenly whispered against the skin of my throat.

"Take...me out?" The question fell shakily from my lips.

"Yes. Out. On a Date. Anywhere that isn't our apartments. You deserve to be taken out." Mulder's fingers slid down between my legs and stroked me through the scrap of cotton and elastic masquerading as underwear. I wanted to answer him but, oh, everything he was doing felt so damn good. The fact that he could make me incapable of coherent thought so quickly was both frighting and exhilarating. Mulder's hand moved from between my legs and up over my stomach. He dragged his lips across mine and looked at me intently. "Would that be OK, Scully?"

"Hmm? What's OK, Mulder?"

He smiled at me and cupped my face. "I want to take you on a date," Mulder said seriously, "maybe dinner somewhere. We can get dressed up, make a night of it. Would you be OK with that?" His boyish expression was more than endearing. "I would like that, Mulder," I said and smiled as his face lit up.

Mulder grabbed onto my hips and flipped me over onto my stomach. I let out an "Ooof!" as I found myself facing away from him. He straddled me then, placing his hands on my shoulders and massaging the tense muscles. I groaned as his fingers loosened knots that I didn't realize were plaguing me. "Mmm...Mulder. That's wonderful..." He leaned down close to my ear. "I'm only getting started." I felt myself heat with arousal.

My eyes closed as my partner's hands pressed and kneaded my shoulders, arms, and back. Mulder worked my muscles and I felt myself relaxing so much that I was having a hard time not falling asleep right there. I forced my eyes open wide and took in a deep breath through my nose. I had a feeling Mulder was hoping for more lively activity this evening judging by the way his erection was pressing into my backside. His hands slid down my sides and I felt his fingers catch the elastic waist of my underwear and drag them from my body. He was back up and over me in a flash and I felt his hands on my hips and his cock rubbing rather insistently against my ass. I turned my head as far as I could to look at him and smiled. Mulder grinned back at me as he nudged my legs apart with eager fingers. He settled down between my thighs, his weight pressing me into the mattress, his cock pressing against my folds, bumping and prodding, compelling me to push back and shift my hips upward to meet him. Mulder rested on his forearms, lacing his fingers through mine. I felt him pushing into me and let out a satisfied groan. "I missed the feel of you," he breathed against my ear as he thrust into me. My answer was a muffled cry of delight, it was my body shifting to allow him deeper entry, it was my fingers clutching his as he moved inside me. This new position was more stimulating that I had anticipated. My body tensed and I pushed back against him as the first waves of my unexpected orgasm washed over me. Mulder's pace quickened as I shivered under him, urging him on with barely a whisper, delighting in the fact that I felt myself on the edge of another orgasm as he fucked me from behind. Mulder pressed his face into the back of my neck and grunted my name as he climaxed. He thrust into me until I came again. I could feel him smiling against my cheek. I chuckled as he kissed my face before moving off of me and onto his back. I rolled over and took his hand, enjoying the satisfied fluttering between my thighs. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the backs of my fingers.

"I suppose it's pretty obvious at this point, but I'm glad you came over, Scully." Moving to rest my head against his shoulder, I hummed in agreement. "Do you have your overnight bag in your car? I'll go down and get it later," he promised. "Yes. That would be nice. I don't wanna get up again tonight." Mulder hiked my leg over his hip and stroked a warm hand down my back. "You stay put. If putting on pants and facing the cold means you spend the night then it's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make." I rolled my eyes. "You're too good to me, Mulder," I said dryly, but I kissed his chin anyway.

"...Scully?"

"Yes, Mulder?"

"Were you _actually_ worried that I felt you were using me for my body," he asked teasingly.

"You make it sound so cheap."

"I can be cheap. Is that what you want, because I don't mind. Use me, Scully."

I let out an exasperated sigh. My partner is an idiot.

"Scully?"

"Yes, Mulder?"

"I love you too."

"I know."


End file.
